I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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