Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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