I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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