I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
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