Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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