I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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