Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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