living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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