Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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