Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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