It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
