i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
