So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
