He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
