she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
