so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
You smell like stripper and shame
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
