Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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