He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Holy shit dude........stairs
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