i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
