Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
We got so high we made milksteak
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
