16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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