im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Success! We fucked roommates!
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