I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize