before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
