DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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