apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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