Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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