I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
