the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
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