My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
i need some magic done to my vagina
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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