Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
