were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
