I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
