theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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