I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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