I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
