I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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