I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize