Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
