I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
