i think my mom watched the whole time
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
