did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize