So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
soo... how was my night?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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