Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
