I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
