if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
