Me. At least after what I've been through.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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