i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize