I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
