kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
She even gives head with a lisp.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Randomize
