she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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