Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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