I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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