I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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