i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
