i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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