Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Quick, to the slutcave!
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
