I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
