trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
