that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
