So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize