She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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