Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
