i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
