already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
We have started to decorate penises.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize