I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I will pee on everything he values.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
