I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
