It's Friday. Sex?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
This baby is an asshole
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Randomize
