Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
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