Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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