I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
